tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-39693424216494065812024-02-07T03:48:56.375+00:00My Little Fox CubsMusings by a mummy on dealing with attachment disorder, adoption related issues and parenting the little fox cubs (thats my kids not actual fox cubs) on a daily basis. The highs, the lows and the downright normal!Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11668643541434459993noreply@blogger.comBlogger17125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3969342421649406581.post-8837695754035836342012-04-17T21:10:00.004+01:002012-04-17T21:10:43.425+01:00Blog Has Moved!Please visit www.adoptivemummy.co.uk for the latest posts!Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11668643541434459993noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3969342421649406581.post-30622840592842560782012-04-11T22:13:00.002+01:002012-04-11T22:15:13.964+01:00Post Adoption Depression (PADS)
Hang on a minute, you have this new family, the child you longed for, fought for, convinced social workers you were capable of looking after and then wham suddenly you feel as miserable as hell. Tired, fraught, stressed out, not sleeping, irritable, feeling worthless, guilty for not being on top of the world and like, well, a pretty crappy parent. First of all, don't worry you are not alone.&Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11668643541434459993noreply@blogger.com0United Kingdom55.378051 -3.43597335.574749 -43.8656605 75.181353 36.9937145tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3969342421649406581.post-78416153223769913372012-04-09T15:56:00.000+01:002012-04-09T15:57:36.520+01:00We Survived Easter Sunday!At 7am I was rudely awaken by Girl nose to nose with me, big grin on her face "Mommy, mommy I have a surprise for you!" Boy was on the bed behind me playfully bashing the top of my head bellowing "mommeeeeee, mommeeeee, mommEEEEEEEEEEE". An Easter egg was rapidly pushed into my face before I slipped back into slumber "It's an Easter Egg Mummy" my girl helpfully tells me. I managed to thank the Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11668643541434459993noreply@blogger.com0United Kingdom55.378051 -3.43597335.574749 -43.8656605 75.181353 36.9937145tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3969342421649406581.post-48682701677052194572012-04-07T18:57:00.000+01:002012-04-07T18:57:14.646+01:00Get Support, Make Friends
I can't tell you enough how important it has been to us to make friends with and talk to other adopters. I know some adopters are of the view that they want their children's lives to be as normal as possible and not centred around the fact that they are adopted but personally for us having friends to turn to who know what we have been through and what we are going through right now is invaluableAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11668643541434459993noreply@blogger.com0United Kingdom55.378051 -3.43597336.641164 -43.8656605 74.114938 36.9937145tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3969342421649406581.post-56537800717288720722012-04-06T20:54:00.000+01:002012-04-06T20:54:47.982+01:00I Guess I Know Where I Stand!Our PASW has insisted that the hubster and I spend more quality time together, book a hotel go away for the night, get some sleep and a lie-in. Husband is not so keen, he seems to think that every minute of every weekend should be spent with the kids, well that's very nice but I am not for one minute asking him to abandon the kids all weekend, just have one much needed night off every now and Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11668643541434459993noreply@blogger.com0United Kingdom55.378051 -3.43597335.574749 -43.8656605 75.181353 36.9937145tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3969342421649406581.post-76911088580397738972012-04-06T10:51:00.000+01:002012-04-06T10:51:05.415+01:00Second Child Syndrome? Nope, Just One Stressed Out Mummy!
It was my son's birthday this week. We did not plan a party as he is only two, he wouldn't remember it and we have had such a stressful time lately it seemed just too much to think about but we did book a restaurant table for close family and bought a birthday cake.
For each birthday of my daughter we have made a scrapbook page, lots of photos with the cake as the focus. We are sitting in theAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11668643541434459993noreply@blogger.com2United Kingdom55.378051 -3.43597335.574749 -43.8656605 75.181353 36.9937145tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3969342421649406581.post-59344999364328813272012-04-05T10:08:00.000+01:002012-04-05T10:08:00.383+01:00If all else fails crack out the face paints!For all her tomboyish behaviour my daughter loves nothing more than a bit of pampering and as a bonding session nothing beats it, from fun face painting to a pretty manicure the closeness of the activity, quality one-to-one time together, the sensory elements of skin to skin contact, massaging creams, sniffing and smelling and messing with the lotions and potions and well just the sheerAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11668643541434459993noreply@blogger.com0United Kingdom55.378051 -3.43597333.5930925 -43.8656605 77.1630095 36.9937145tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3969342421649406581.post-23640507023761419452012-04-04T15:08:00.000+01:002012-04-04T15:08:06.324+01:00Heart-melting moments
It's not all bad, these are the moments that make everything worthwhile!Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11668643541434459993noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3969342421649406581.post-13842368424579690312012-04-04T11:59:00.000+01:002012-04-11T22:13:49.947+01:00Micro-managing our kids
I was having a chuckle with my friend the other day about the fact her husband has this need to micro-manage every aspect of her son's life, instructing every little move, don't do that, do it like this, stop that now...
The conversation kind of hit home as actually I think that I could be guilty of exactly the same thing but in a very different way. Every single decision we make Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11668643541434459993noreply@blogger.com0United Kingdom55.378051 -3.43597336.641164 -43.8656605 74.114938 36.9937145tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3969342421649406581.post-27369792587925770032012-04-03T21:14:00.000+01:002012-04-03T21:14:15.799+01:00In The NewsTwo very different stories took my attention yesterday. Firstly was the story published in the Daily Mail of a couple who had their baby taken by social services after they moved to France, this followed the removal of children from a previous relationship.
Daily Mail: British couple who moved to France to start new family have baby seized by social workers who tracked them from Norfolk
I Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11668643541434459993noreply@blogger.com0United Kingdom55.378051 -3.43597335.574749 -43.8656605 75.181353 36.9937145tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3969342421649406581.post-33505003406906733912012-04-02T22:17:00.000+01:002012-04-02T22:17:06.188+01:00When You Hit Rock Bottom The Only Way Is UpIt' that time when the dog is barking for a walk, the two year old needs his nappy changing, the tea is cooking, you realise you've left a vital ingredient from your shopping list, you're all tired from a weekend away, the phone is ringing and right at that crucial moment when you can't take any more stress your attachment disordered child decides it's the appropriate time to make her demands Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11668643541434459993noreply@blogger.com0United Kingdom55.378051 -3.43597336.641164 -43.8656605 74.114938 36.9937145tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3969342421649406581.post-78349236606218024472012-04-01T22:02:00.001+01:002012-04-01T22:30:56.525+01:00Signals
We have learnt to expect (and could probably guarantee if asked) that if we do anything too exciting with our daughter that the event will be sabotaged by very difficult behaviour either during or shortly after. By very difficult I do mean violent, uncontrollable aggressive behaviour. I am not talking about a little bit naughty because I am sure all kids can be a bit difficult when Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11668643541434459993noreply@blogger.com0United Kingdom55.378051 -3.43597336.641164 -43.8656605 74.114938 36.9937145tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3969342421649406581.post-46558102667977716442012-03-28T10:22:00.000+01:002012-03-28T10:22:00.793+01:00How Many Sleeps Mommy? Lots and lots darling...
Before we adopted Girl we had these mindless daydreams of counting down sleeps with our child until holidays, Christmas, birthdays but the reality of this with a child with attachment disorder is very different.
We all get excited about lots of different things but for Girl it can all be too much for her to bear and can cause her actual real heartfelt anxiety. For instance the thought ofAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11668643541434459993noreply@blogger.com0United Kingdom55.378051 -3.43597336.641164 -43.8656605 74.114938 36.9937145tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3969342421649406581.post-15479680697475024612012-03-27T10:19:00.000+01:002012-03-27T10:19:37.709+01:00It's Not All Bad!
Adopting both Girl and Boy has had it's rewards and I certainly don't want my blog to be all gloom and doom because that's not our life! When we adopted Girl we did so with her developmental future being uncertain, with a little nurturing she has progressed in leaps and bounds.
This year she started Reception year at school and after a shaky start and a gentle nudge to the teacher about her Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11668643541434459993noreply@blogger.com0United Kingdom55.378051 -3.43597336.641164 -43.8656605 74.114938 36.9937145tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3969342421649406581.post-31218260168582394932012-03-26T22:17:00.000+01:002012-03-27T09:13:18.645+01:00The Poker Face
So we have officially become the Neighbours From Hell. The sort of family that people in adjoining houses bang on the walls at at 4.30am. To be fair I don't blame them at all, I would hate to live next door to us.
Last Monday Girl was having one of her 'must be in control' days. Bedtime is one thing she can easily take control of and has become a bit of a battle of late, though I Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11668643541434459993noreply@blogger.com2United Kingdom55.378051 -3.43597336.641164 -43.8656605 74.114938 36.9937145tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3969342421649406581.post-19232381449168546852012-03-22T20:37:00.000+00:002012-03-22T20:40:05.482+00:00Understanding
I was halfway through writing about why Girl has attachment disorder and decided that actually it doesn't need a lengthy breakdown the simple facts speak clearly for themselves. At birth Girl was removed from her natural mother, The Primal Wound: Understanding the adopted child (which is well worth a read if you are interested in attachment and adoption) describes this as her first Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11668643541434459993noreply@blogger.com0United Kingdom52.68506 -2.0347232.792199499999995 -42.4644075 72.5779205 38.3949675tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3969342421649406581.post-84302393498721445962012-03-21T20:25:00.000+00:002012-03-21T20:25:59.839+00:00The beginning
Where do I start? At the beginning I suppose. Just over three years ago we became the proud adoptive parents of a little girl. A little girl who was two weeks away from her second birthday so you can imagine what a massive impact the first little fox cub made on our lives. For reasons of protecting her identity I will refer to her as Girl.
Girl was removed from her natural Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11668643541434459993noreply@blogger.com0United Kingdom55.378051 -3.43597336.641164 -43.8656605 74.114938 36.9937145