Friday, 6 April 2012

Second Child Syndrome? Nope, Just One Stressed Out Mummy!

It was my son's birthday this week. We did not plan a party as he is only two, he wouldn't remember it and we have had such a stressful time lately it seemed just too much to think about but we did book a restaurant table for close family and bought a birthday cake.

For each birthday of my daughter we have made a scrapbook page, lots of photos with the cake as the focus. We are sitting in the restaurant and I realise we have only gone and forgotten the blinking cake. Holy Moly, it felt as though the world stopped on it axis for a moment. We are so busy keeping Girl in order that we have forgotten why we are there. The first thing that went though my mind was no birthday scrapbook page! Fortunately we are out with friends next week for the day, all adopted children and we will be taking the cake with us and luckily it will still be in date - just! We can always pretend later on that it was planned all along and hope he never reads this!

I do feel sometimes that he does come second best, last night Girl stayed at her grandparents for a sleepover and Boy has been like a different child, the child I see every day when Girl is at school, relaxed, happy and no screaming ab-dabs (my mum's name for his tantrums). 

Much as I do love spending time with Girl I cannot wait for the Easter holidays to be over just so we can go back to our normal routine and boy can get some much needed individual attention again.


Stix said...

Hi there
I've just come across your blog. I'm adoptive mummy to Mini (5) and birth mummy to Dollop (nearly 2). Mini is showing signs of an attachment disorder, we're seeing CAMHS who won't diagnose (as they don't like to label...grr!). Meeting with PAS next week, and going on a theraplay course soon.

I can so identify with what I've read on your blog so far. Mini's troubles only surfaced when Dollop was born, and to start with we thought it was 'normal' sibling becoming clearer that it's more than that.

I will continue to read with interest x

Gail Hurd said...

CAMHS were worse than useless for us, they suggested we go on a parenting course. We kind of ended up with CAMHS accidentally after getting referred to them by SALT. We decided to go to post adoption and they have been brilliant, our PASW is a star!

PAS did say that our local CAMHS did not have enough specialist knowledge about adoption to be support enough for us an that a parenting course was a terrible idea!

Good luck and if you ever want to chat, send us an email :)